The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt
by Jinxd n cursed
Summary: Dumbledore is off his rocker and thinks an easter egg hunt is a swell idea. Slughorn has contributed a bottle of Felix. Hermione REALLY wants it. Enter Snape. Add in Amorentia, blackmail, and a Jew. response to WIKTT easter egg challenge
1. Chapter 1

The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: not mine, no profits

This story is in response to the WIKTT Easter Egg Hunt Challenge. There will be a few very short chapters (most less than 500 words). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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Hermione rolled over in bed once more, her brain begging for just a few more minutes of precious sleep. Contrary to popular belief, she did not like to awake at the crack of dawn and study. Even she had the decency to leave reading her textbooks to the decent hour of seven on weekdays and nine on weekends. It was only eight seventeen on a Sunday morning, meaning she still had time to sleep. Unfortunately, God seemed to have it in for her that morning. As she rolled, she rolled over onto something hard and round as her face smashed into a piece of paper. She groaned.

"I thought I cleared all this crap out of my bed," she grumbled, picking her head up. She looked at the piece of paper her face had come in contact with. It appeared to be a letter.

_Dear Miss Granger, _

_When we attempted to wake you up for the festivities, you mumbled something quite Anglo-Saxon and hexed Professor Flitwick. We would just like to inform you that Professor Flitwick is fine and as soon as you arise, you are welcome to join to Easter Egg Hunt. Eggs can be found all throughout the castle and the grounds. Approximately ten thousand eggs are hidden. Nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine of the eggs contain chocolates, toffees, and other sweets as prizes. Extra prizes will be given to the person from each year that collects the most eggs. The grand prize, however, is the one remaining egg containing a bottle of Felix Felicis Potion. The hunt ends when the last egg is found. Have fun hunting!_

_Happy Easter!_

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore_

Hermione let the facts of the note sink in. Then she reached for the round object she had rolled on top of. It was an egg, large and hinged like the eggs Harry had retrieved from the first task in the Triwizard Tournament. When she opened it, a large quantity of Honeyduke's chocolate bon-bon Easter egg candies fell out. Popping one of the butter cream variety into her mouth, she thought. She wanted to sleep… but she really, really wanted that bottle of potion. It took her approximately thirty seconds to reach a decision, another two hundred twenty three seconds to get dressed, and ten seconds to stuff her uncontrollably curly hair into a pony tail. Taking her wand from her pocket, she transfigured a piece of spare parchment into a large wicker basket. With her basket in hand, she was ready to conquer the Easter Egg Hunt.

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	2. Chapter 2

The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: not mine, no profits

This story is in response to the WIKTT Easter Egg Hunt Challenge. There will be a few very short chapters (most less than 500 words). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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Severus Snape stared at the basket. It was pink with green trim and covered with plastic bunnies. According to Albus, it had been charmed to accommodate however many eggs he managed to collect. He was determined to keep that number at zero, even though he had found several eggs hidden throughout his room. They would stay there until they rotted and the house elves cleaned them up. Albus had obviously had too many sherbet lemons if he thought Severus Snape, fearsome Potions master, would ever be caught dead carrying a pink basket and traipsing about the castle collecting Easter Eggs.

As he swept out of the dungeons, the basket floated along beside him, nudging him every so often as he passed another garishly decorated pastel egg. Albus had no taste and obviously did not know him if he thought an obnoxious basket could goad him into participating in an Easter egg hunt. In a whirl of robes, he blasted a hex at the basket. When the smoke from his exploding hex cleared, the basket still hung in the air untouched, its pastel colors as garish as ever. He emitted a groan of frustration.

"Why did they even hide eggs down here anyway? It's not as if any stupid with a smidgen of sense would ever come down here to look for eggs," he groused.

Hermione, unfortunately, did not have good sense. After two hours of hunting, she'd found about fifty eggs, all of them containing chocolate or toffees. As the weight of her basket increased and started to overflow, she charmed it to weigh nothing and to expand with each egg she added to it.

Realizing that absolutely no one would think to search the dungeons, she decided to take a stroll down there herself. As she rounded the stone corridor, summoning a green egg to her basket with a flick of her wand, she came upon Professor Severus Snape and a pink Easter basket.

"Miss Granger. To what do I owe the infernal displeasure of your company?" he asked.

"The Easter Egg Hunt, sir," she replied. "I see you are searching as well." Her face turned slightly pink as she tried to suppress her giggles.

"I most certainly am not. The interfering, meddlesome old fool has seen fit to charm an Easter basket to follow me around," he informed her. "Not that it matters to you. Ten points from Gryffindor for obnoxious curiousness."

"I beg your pardon sir, but I didn't ask. You offered the information," she said, spotting a purple egg just ahead. With a flick of her wand, she had it in her hand and opened it up. Inside was a five galleon gift certificate to Wendolyn's Wonderful Witches hair salon. Apparently, Dumbledore had meant for Snape to find that particular egg. No matter. She could use the certificate herself.

"What were you expecting?" he asked nastily. "A time turner? Perhaps a proposal of betrothal or an apprenticeship offer?"

"No," she said indignantly. "I expected chocolate if I can't have that blasted potion."

"What potion?" he questioned.

"Oh, come off it. I'm sure Dumbledore told you all about the prize system," she said.

If Severus Snape had been capable of blushing, he would have. "Like I pay attention to everything the old bat says."

She sighed. "The grand prize is a bottle of Felix Felicus," she said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish searching the dungeons." She pushed past her professor to continue her search.

"Not so fast Miss Granger."

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	3. Chapter 3

The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: not mine, no profits

This story is in response to the WIKTT Easter Egg Hunt Challenge. There will be a few very short chapters (most less than 500 words). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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"Not so fast Miss Granger."

She turned on her heel, stopping to face him. "Sir?"

"Why do you want this potion so badly?" he asked.

Her face flamed intensely red. "I can't tell you that."

"Oh? Does Miss Granger have illicit reasons for wanting a luck potion? It would not be the first time that you used potions to accomplish less than savory means," he said. "Polyjuice in the second year… something with diced ginger root in it that I'm not entirely sure about in the fourth year… and last year…" He grinned evilly.

She gasped. "How did you know? I was so careful!"

"I didn't. You just confirmed that you stole something. Apparently you're getting good at thieving. Tell me, what rare and exceptionally expensive potion ingredient did you steal?" he asked.

Her face continued to redden as she mumbled something incoherent.

"Speak up Miss Granger," he said.

"Ashwinder eggs… and fresh mandrake leaves… red and pink rose petals gathered under a quarter full moon… and apple blossom… acacia… arbutus… pink camellias… Coriander… hellebore… Acromantula venom…" she recited.

Severus Snape was floored. "Amorentia? You brewed Amorentia? What do you need a love potion for, Miss Granger? Scorned lover? Mr. Weasley is, after all, permanently attached to Miss. Brown."

She was silent.

He tutted. "And everyone said you were in line to be the next head girl. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore would love to hear about this."

Her eyes widened. "Don't tell him! Please don't!"

He snorted. "And why shouldn't I? You have such a penchant for rule breaking. I think you need to learn a lesson."

"I'll do anything! Anything!" she begged desperately.

"Anything, Miss Granger?" he asked.

"Anything," she confirmed.

"Very well," he said. "If you find the egg, I want the potion."

"The potion?" she repeated. "But I really need that to—"

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

She mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What was that? I'm waiting. Appointments with the headmaster are at such a high premium these days with him being gone so often."

"TotryandtalktothemanthatI'vebeenlookingatsincethirdyear,"she said very quickly and very quietly.

Professor Snape laughed snidely. "Not a good enough excuse Miss Granger. The potion or the headmaster's office. You choose."

She huffed loudly. "Fine. If I find the potion, I'll give it to you."

"Good. Now, I invite you to commence your search."

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	4. Chapter 4

The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: not mine, no profits

This story is in response to the WIKTT Easter Egg Hunt Challenge. There will be a few very short chapters (most less than 500 words). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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"Why are you in my room?"

Hermione turned to face her fearsome Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"I'm looking for eggs. There are only about twenty in here. No potion though," she said.

"How did you get in here?" he demanded. "There are wards set up."

"No wards are impenetrable," she said inspecting a peanut butter bunny found in a yellow spotted egg. "Yours were better than most but still not that hard to crack with the proper spells." She popped the sweet into her mouth.

Snape just stood there as she flipped the covers back from the bed and extracted two pink eggs from the sheets. She opened one of them, observed its contents and tossed it into the basket. Then she opened the second, snickered, and added it to the basket.

"What are you doing?" he demanded as her snicker snapped him out of his stunned reverie.

"I'm hunting for Easter Eggs," she said, opening the doors to his wardrobe. She opened the underwear drawer first and pulled out a pastel blue egg. Its contents inspired full blown laughter. She dangled a pair of furry pink handcuffs for him to see. "Apparently Dumbledore thinks you need these. What you really need is some new underwear. These are all gray."

"They're meant to be gray," he snarled, snatching the handcuffs from her and slamming the drawer shut.

Hermione rummaged through the clothes that were hanging up and extracted a purple egg from one of the pockets of a set of teaching robes. Inside she found chocolate but not just any chocolate: chocolate body paint. She tossed it to him and continued her search.

"I already scoured your lab, your office, your store room, and your sitting room. I need to finish in here and then try your bathroom," she informed him. She set her basket on the floor and then levitated herself up to look for eggs in the canopy of his bed. Finding none, she dropped to the floor and searched under the bed, coming up with three, two of which had been hidden in the bunny slippers under the bed.

"What are you doing with baffies?" she demanded, tossing the eggs into the basket.

He snatched them away. "It's none of your business," he snarled.

She shrugged, returning to her search. Finding no more eggs, she moved on to his bathroom. In the cabinet above the sink, she found three purple eggs, each containing Grease-be-Gone hair potions and hair styling incantations. Behind the toilet was an egg containing a small bottle of special reserve fire whiskey and another containing hangover potion.

He followed her in there. "Did you really think it would be hidden here?"

She shrugged. "You never know. Dumbledore obviously thinks you need to get lucky."

In the shower was where Hermione found it. It gleamed in the dim light from the candles throughout the Professor's chamber. It was a large golden egg.

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	5. Chapter 5

The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: not mine, no profits

This story is in response to the WIKTT Easter Egg Hunt Challenge. There will be a few very short chapters (most less than 500 words). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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Hermione shrieked with joy as she pounced on the egg. Fumbling, she opened the latch and pulled out the bottle of gold potion. Forgetting her whicker basket temporarily, she danced around the room holding the bottle.

"What? Found your favorite chocolate?" a crabby Severus Snape inquired.

"Anyone can see that it is not chocolate," she replied, hugging the bottle to her chest. Apparently, she had momentarily forgotten her promise to hand the bottle over to her professor.

"Very good Miss Granger," he said levelly. He held out his hand. "Hand it over."

Hermione's bubble burst. "But…"

"We had a bargain," he reminded her.

Her face fell.

"You must hand it over unless…"

"What?" she demanded.

"There is a condition under which I might allow you to keep such a prize," he continued.

"And that is…?"

'Damn,' he thought. 'I really should think of something _before_ I decide to offer an alternative.' He racked his brain for something that he wanted from the Granger girl. He reddened at the thought of what he truly wanted but decided on something much tamer. "A kiss."

"A kiss," she repeated. 'That's easy enough considering my reasons for wanting the potion,' she thought.

She set the potion down on the sink and took a step toward him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

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	6. Chapter 6

The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: not mine, no profits

This story is in response to the WIKTT Easter Egg Hunt Challenge. There will be a few very short chapters (most less than 500 words). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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Felix Felicis be damned. For the first time in his life, Severus Snape was snogged by a not drunk, not dared, and reasonably attractive girl. All rational thoughts flew from his head as the seventeen year old witch wreaked havoc on his senses. She smelled vaguely of parchment, sandalwood, and tangerines—exactly what Amorentia smelled like to him.

He pulled back suddenly, looking at her confused face.

"Very well Miss Granger, if the potion is all you desire, you may leave," he said, as evenly as he could manage.

"What if it's not?" she asked.

"Then…" his voice trailed off.

"Allow me," she said. Hermione pounced on him, knocking him back so he leaned against the towel rack as she snogged him senseless.

He was vaguely aware of the bar from the towel rack pressing rather uncomfortably into the small of his back. He didn't really care, however, as Hermione ran her tongue over his lower lip.

After being snogged into oblivion, he had the sense to offer the young woman some breakfast, over which they could discuss the merits of student-teacher relationships.

"I'll take my NEWTS early," she offered.

"I'll quite teaching," he countered, biting into his toast.

"But you like teaching," she protested.

That statement inspired booming laughter. "You think I enjoy teaching the lot of dunderheads? Lord no, I'd rather do research!"

"Fine," she said. "You'll stop teaching. What about our little Voldy problem?"

"Kill him?"

"You have such wonderful ideas. I'll have to tell Harry to get to work on that one." She reached over and kissed him, stealthily stealing one of the dyed hardboiled eggs from his plate.

"I am beginning to see the merits of celebrating the Easter holiday."

"Why don't you celebrate Easter?"

"I'm Jewish."

Hermione looked at the plate of bacon in confusion.

"I'm not particularly observant," remarked Snape dryly.

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter." She looked at her watch. "I have to go before someone suspects something," she said, getting up.

He stood up as well, handing her the basket full of candy and the potion.

"I don't need the potion anymore," she said. "Keep it and keep this."

He looked at her in confusion. "Chocolate body paint?"

She smiled devilishly. "For later."

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Fini

The challenge rules:

The Official WIKTT

Easter Egg Hunt Challenge

Snape. Hermione. An easter egg hunt (think of the egg used for GOF).

Plot Bunnies. Wide Parameters? Yes. Call it scope for the imagination

Hermione is after the golden egg offered as top prize in the Anuual Easter Egg Hunt. It seems Slughorn has donated a very small bottle of Felix, which is in said egg. And Hermione wants it. Badly. How far will she do to get it? What will happen along the way? You decide.

1. Must Take place during the sixth year or after. May be AU or canon

2. May be any genre (humor/angst/etc), but a romantic relationship

must occur.

3. hermione must kiss the teacher. You can decide why and how.

4. NoPWP, though, please. I like plots. Plots are our friends...

5. Must include three of the following phrases:

--"But I don't have any hands!"

--"Surely a horn-tailed snorkblast can't possibly be that dangerous!"

--"Your lack of intelligence and creativity never cease to infuriate

me."

--"Did you really think it would be hidden here!"

--"Why are you in my room?"

--"Anyone can see that it is not chocolate!"

--"You're animagus form is a bunny?"

--"Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows there are no such things as

norkles!"

--"Ron snogged Luna!" -- "Ron would snog a Thestral if he had the

chance."

--"Where is my hairbrush?" -- "Why do you need a hairbrush, you

don't

have any hair?"

--"I love my Lips!"

--"Broccolli doesn't agree with me." -- "Does anything?"

--"Why don't you celebrate Easter?" -- "I'm Jewish." --

Hermione

looked at the plate of bacon in confusion -- "I'm not particularly

observant." remarked Snape dryly.

6. Must include one snide reference to the following --

--time travel

-- student/teacher relationships

-- the Marriage Law

-- Valentine's Carnival

-- Apprenticeship

-- Penny Romances (bodice rippers)

7. Each chapter must be 1000 words or less. single chapter entries

must be 1000 words exactly (meh...no idea why)

8. The fic must be completed by easter (April 16th 2006). unless you're Jewish. In

which case Passover will do;-)

9. Must be posted on either or SH. If any other forum you must

post the link here.

10. Voting will take place via my email within two weeks of the close

of the deadline.


End file.
